D Day
Yup, the due date is here and I've got NOTHIN going on...nuh-thing.
For some reason I gave Eamon's guess on when the Baby is going to come a lot more salt than anyone else's so when I woke up [from my 4 hours of sleep....urgh] last night not in labor...I was pretty disappointed. I was also hoping for last night because Eamon could then take today, tomorrow, PLUS the weekend to have with us, but no such luck.
So now the hard waiting starts. I'm hoping last night was my friend H's turn to have her baby since she's been waiting almost TWO WEEKS to meet her baby girl. So if she's all done, 'tis definitely my turn!
****Edit****
SHE DID SHE DID SHE DID!!! Baby S got confused and came on my due date, not her's ;]
Nesting in the Ghetto
Yep, still pregnant :]
Last night I tweeted about a young man who came in to our workout center while I was walking on the treadmill. It went something like this:
"Hey, how you doin' tonight?"
"Fine, thank you"
He looks around the gym for a sec, doing that weird rubbing-hands-together-thing
"You mind if I ax you somethin' real quick?"
"Uh...sure"
I was expecting something along the lines of how far along are you, or does your doctor know you're doing this.
"Whatchu walkin fo?"
I laughed and said "Well, I'm about to have a baby, it's hard work, I've got to stay in shape."
He walks towards me, still rubbing his hands together [gag...why you gotta be a creeper?] and says "Well, to be honest wit chu, you look good just the way you is."
Before I could even say anything he said
"I mean, you just pregnant"
OOOooooh...wasn't aware...
He noticed my tattoos and that I'm married and quickly exited after that.
I just kept walking, laughing at the ridiculousness that just happened. I shook my head thinking...Why? Still laughing.
Any given day Lily and I open our living room window and see the "bad dogs" [pit bulls] being walked, a baby daddy picking up his kids, the maintenance men rushing off to fix something else, "Biggie Smalls" rolling his joints or yelling at Red Shirt Man, or the ambulance or cops picking someone else up [it's unREAL how often this happens...] It makes me infuriated with myself because I chose to live here.
I constantly think, "This is not the way I wanted to raise my kids. I want them to be able to play outside without getting a second hand high. I want them to have other baby friends in the neighbor hood that won't teach them how to hot wire a car." To be honest, I want to shelter them :
But the past few days we've been privileged to watch these two working away outside of our window.
Lily stood at the window a few mornings ago yelling, "DUCK! DUCK!" And when I went to see what on earth she was talking about, I saw these two fighting the wind, picking up sticks and dried leaves to build a little nest.
I've been waiting anxiously to see what their finished product will look like, and when she'll lay her eggs. Well this morning I saw Mama Bird sitting proudly in her finished nest. And then the Lord did a tricky thing.
He said
"Now if this tiny little bird picked this tree, in this neighborhood with faith that she can lay her eggs, and prepare her babies for flight, why can't you?"
Dangit.
He's right [duh]
It's little reminders like this that assure me over and over AND OVER again that He's taking care of us. Our bellies never hunger at night, we go to bed in a big fluffy bed at a ridiculously comfy temperature, and despite our biggest fears, we are safe inside our apartment every night, despite the chaos going on outside [and when we're not, He even protects us in that]
First Day of Spring
The weather has been absolutely beautiful lately, and the first day of spring marks just another day that I'm still pregnant :]
I got a LOVELY gift yesterday from some sweet friends of mine, Esther, Lesley, and my doula Leila. They came over with cleaners and brooms and trash bags, and scrubbed the dirty out of my apartment!! I feel like such a failure sometimes for not being able to keep the house clean like I want it to be, but each one of them said "Oh, you can't do that when chasing toddlers" Ha! So my kitchen and bathrooms are sparkling and my living room and bedrooms are cozy and tidy...it's SO nice. Eamon took Lily on a date while the ladies cleaned up. When he came back he said "...So...they just came over to clean our house?" YUP! "...that's SO weird!" It is so foreign to the both of us to just have friends who do stuff for you just because! They're such a light of Jesus...
Ah...
Anyway, I feel like there is such a weight lifted off of my shoulders. Every night when I go to bed I think "But if I go into labor tonight I'll have this and this and this to do" It's kinda been stressing me out. But now everything is set up. The pool is inflated, hoses are ready, all of the supplies are where the midwives and doula can get to them, a girl's and boy's outfit are picked, my postpartum basket and a baby essentials basket are filled and accessible, Lily's activities are planned out for her and daddy. It's all coming together :]
I'm now starting to prepare myself for being pregnant past the 40 weeks, even though I'm already so uncomfortable and so ready. Yesterday I woke up in the wee hours of the morning to cramps and irregular contractions, but they stopped after a few hours and then I got nada, lol.
Here are the stats
- 39.5 weeks pregnant
- 30 pounds gained [I've been walking 30 mins every night to get ready for the birth and to build momentum for post partum]
- just now getting swollen fingers and feet
- appetite is not as monstrous as it was
- sleep is not coming easily
- Baby's head is way...WAAAY down low
- and I wouldn't be surprised if at any moment my legs separated from my hips in order to let my hips splay out more
Well this is my Due Date week, let's see if any of your predictions come true :]
Mae