Her Knight in Furry Armor

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you have heard the many tales of "Rusty Vs Lily"
After months and months of going to the NRH Humane Society to look at dogs, we got Rusty when Lily was 7 months old and since then they've had a very love, hate, love relationship.
When it comes down to it, Lily loves the dog to pieces, and loves pestering him just as much. The past few weeks I've been worried that Rusty is getting sick of it and will eventually grow bored...and out of love with his little lady.
Today, Rusty proved me wrong. He proved to be a part of this family that I will one day be heart broken to ever be without. Today Rusty saved Lily's life, and I got to watch my brave husband save his.
When we were getting our "to do" list together today I saw this dumb kid walking his pit bull mix on a huge chain through our dining room window. I pointed it out to Eamon because we're always talking about how unfortunate pit bulls lives are. Their owners think they're fighting dogs and that they'll look "bad ass" with a thick chain and pad lock around their neck.
[This is making me shake just THINKING about it...it seems like a distant dream now.]
All of our windows are open because the weather is just amazing right now and Lily and Rusty are playing at the window in the living room like they do all day, every day. [They're people watchers] I see the dog come to the window and get Eamon's attention. Lily and Rusty both lean up against the window to get a look at the dog. Rusty's not allowed to growl or bark in the house as to not instigate anything, and he RARELY does. Two sniffs later and we see/hear barking and growling. I get off of the couch to run to Lily and before I even get up the pit bull TEARS THROUGH OUR WINDOW SCREEN and lunges at our kids. Rusty places himself in front of Lily [there are the tears...] and takes the bite of the pit bull. I'm so scared but know I HAVE TO GRAB MY BABY. I scoop her up, trying my hardest to stay cool while Eamon is kicking the dog. I run into the bedroom and close the door, afraid the pit is going to come into the house and attack us too. I then hear yelping and hear Eamon go out the door. I run out a few seconds later realizing I need to call the cops before someone-my dog, or worse my husband- gets killed. The dog had grabbed Rusty by the neck and drug him out to the sidewalk in front of our apartment. I then see Eamon with the dog's chain in his hand beating the pit bull over and over to get him to let go of our dog. He didn't budge. He was thrashing Rusty like a rag doll.
I had a flashback to when I was a little girl and something really scary was happening. My mom was trying her hardest not to be in hysterics, and told us to go inside to avoid seeing something bad happen, that it'd be better to see the aftermath than to watch the act occur. Still clutching Lily I walked back inside-still on the phone with the police and waited to hear Rusty dying and the dog attack Eamon. In prayer mode I went. I then saw Rusty start running away as the pit's owner held him. Eamon ran after Rusty to make sure he wasn't running away to find a place to die [...at least that is what was going through my mind] and I went into mommy mode.
With his dog secured, I let the owner have it. His dog put three out of four of the members in a near death experience and if the dog came in our house...it could have ended very differently. I have never been so mad at a human being in my life-let alone expressed said anger to their face.
A few minutes later...our heroes came around the corner, Eamon with an adrenaline rush and Rusty with a limp. It was like the scene in Armageddon when all of the astronauts make it home safely and are walking out to meet their women that they protected. I was prepared to see the blood on Rusty and was trying not to freak out...he survived with a few puncture wounds on his neck, two cuts on his left front leg and a limp from being thrown in the air. This was not Rusty's first rodeo.
God has protected us in so many ways today, I'm not sure I can count them all. He gave us rusty 9 months ago to be Lily's best friend. He was there today to push Lily out of the way from a pit bull's mouth. He gave me a husband wise and brave enough to know what to do and actually do it, and He protected our dog in a miraculous way.
When the Humane Officer came to get our story and take a look at Rusty she said the pit probably thought of Rusty as a chew toy and that's why he didn't apply "deadly" force. Regardless, our scrappy little dog put his life out there for our baby. He held on and fought for his life for his family...I don't know that I can ever repay him. Who knows, maybe he thinks he's repaying US for rescuing him...
All day he's been right by our side-mine and Lily's that is. I told a friend of mine that I felt like he and Eamon said "These are MY girls, want me to prove it again?" and I know they would.
So even though she tries to poison him with grapes and raisins, and even though he thinks all of her bunny toys are his, and EVEN THOUGH Lily gets pure joy out of telling him "BAD DOG!"...Rusty will always be her knight in furry armor.

"

June

I'm supposed to be packing right now, but I need to put this into words.

This week was a lot harder than I anticipated.
When I posted this blog on Monday, I had no idea that it was National Pregnancy Loss week. When I saw the first "status update" announcing so, I wanted to stay off of facebook this week. I've been trying to deal with this all on my own terms, and to be frank, I'm pretty upset.
I knew that I lost the June baby the night it happened. I suppressed that thought quickly bc I didn't want anyone's pity, I didn't want anyone to compare me to anyone else, and I had no idea what to do. My trauma wasn't as severe as many of my good friends, and I felt like I'd be taking something away from them if I said I understood...but man do I.
When I filled out my paperwork for this pregnancy at the midwifery center, I didn't know how to answer the "Number of pregnancies" question. I felt like I was lying, like I didn't want to admit that my body had just failed. But I never got to see a baby on the screen, never got that little sign, but I knew.
A friend that I been sharing the fact I "knew" I was pregnancy asked me a few weeks later if I thought I had miscarried. I didn't want to say yes, that would be too hard. I just said "We'll never really know :"
Hearing everyone's stories this week and seeing those who have had more obvious...maybe that's not the right word...but more obvious miscarriages and how they've gotten the chance to mourn, grieve, and re-cooperate has made me mad. BUT WHY SHOULD IT?! I was quickly blessed with this pregnancy, my loss only took a few days longer than my normal period, not weeks or months like other women, but my hurt was still there, I just refused it- to the point that it's hurt this pregnancy for me.
I have three close friends who have miscarried in the year since Lily's birth and they always talk about how they miss their babies. I want to say, SO DO I! I never even got to feel them! I even lashed out on a friend who said she had mixed feelings about her pregnancy because she knew that she wouldn't have THIS baby right now, if she didn't lose her first. I wanted to cry on her shoulder and say "Me too..." But no. I said "Stop dwelling on it" Like a mean, hurtful, bitter friend. I didn't get to say "I don't get to, so you shouldn't" but that's what I felt.
So tonight, before I leave to Rockport I'm going to start this process of healing for this baby, and be so, so, so grateful for the baby I have, the BABIES I have. First, her name is June. It's the first name I thought of when I got my suspicions. June wasn't even more than a few cells, but in the very short time I had her, I loved her so much. I was so excited for us, and I was so excited for Lily, I was excited to birth her.
I can't even tell you how much better just putting that into words feels...
If any of you have gone through something similar, I would love to hear your encouragement. I'll be back after the weekend after some time with my family in Rockport, but would still love to hear from you.
Thank you for letting me share.
Mae

What Pregnancy Has Taught Lily

Sometimes I joke about all the things Lily has learned since I got pregnant. She is a little sponge these days so every day I spend growing her sibling, she is presented with new knowledge. We watch birthing videos to prepare her for the sights and sounds that might go on when Baby comes, I let her play with my belly and we talk about how to take care of newborns. But there are some things Lily has come to learn...all on her own.

How to throw up over the toilet
This was first in the series of "Lily's pregnancy" that made me fall over laughing. I was brushing my teeth one morning and there she was, standing over the toilet, spitting, sayin "BLAAAAAGHHH!!!! BLAAAAAGGGHHH!!!" and would get up on her tippy toes every time she lurched. She even got the toilet paper and wiped off her mouth.
Rubbing my back when I puke
This one is really sweat, actually. Eamon rubs my back if he's here and tells Lily "Mama's not feeling good, can you come be sweet?" And Lily toddles over and starts to rub my back saying "Sweet"
She knows how to say "taco"
Like I've said before, beans and cheese are the only thing that appease this baby, so Lily and I find ourselves frequenting the Bueno's and Bell's of the DFW. It's become such an often occurance, that she picked up on "taco" The most hillarious part of this happened this weekend when we went to the zoo. We were sitting in the car and Lily was in the back seat eating her bean and cheese soft taco, talking to herself. In her broken baby English she said, "Haf to Baba! Haf to taco, Baba" ...She was telling her "baby" she "has to eat the taco" ....Not that she hears me justifying eating them or anything... I about died laughing!
She cheered when we heard Baby's heartbeat
This is by far the sweet treasure that has come out of this learning experience with Lily. At our 12 week appointment, I was sure she thought that Angela was torturing me, and the Doppler was emitting sounds from a deep underworld for sure, just not my womb. She cried, screamed, kicked, outright threw a fit over my exam....and dangit, she wasn't going to do it again. I've been prepping her for our 16 week appointment [which was on Monday] to try and avoid another meltdown. When it came time for Angela to feel my tummy and hear the baby...Lily was apprehensive, but cooperative. As we all sat there holding our breaths, waiting to hear that beautiful whooshing noise [only hearing lots of kicks :] Lily started to show panic. I told her it was ok, we were waiting to hear baby. As soon as the heartbeat picked up, Lily, without cue, starts clapping saying "YAAAAAAAAAY!!!!" We then lost the sound of the heartbeat because I was laughing so hard. It was quite a joyous start to our week indeed.
Well, this weekend we are headed to Rockport and Kerrville to see some friends and family and take some photos, but I'll be back soon :] Hope you all have an AMAZING weekend and that this fall weather actually starts acting like it!
Mae