Dear Daughters: Summer

Lady loves, It's been a year. A year since we moved from the familiar to the unknown. To be honest, it doesn't hurt as bad as I thought that it would. We have found our groove, the best way for us to function, and often thrive. Daddy has a steady job, our first year of homeschool is over, we are slowly making friends.

I scooped you all up early this morning to watch the sun rise on the beach. You were awestruck and giddy and it made me so happy. Lily, you are dainty and frilly, and want to do good like any first born might. You strive for approval and want to lead your sisters so earnestly, so sincerely. We see Jesus in you more and more each day and gush at the little lady you are becoming. Norah, my little spit fire. You are my curve ball, the one that keeps me on my toes. You are feisty and fiery, loyal, and strong. I can never tell what you are thinking, but what comes out of you takes my breath away. Getting to know who you are as a tiny person pushes me to my limits in every which direction. You love the sea. The sand. The waves. The wind. You were made for this place. Phoebe, my little chub. You are walking and babbling and teething like a little monster. You are just the sweetest, easiest, chubbiest baby I have ever had. I want to coddle you at all times. You love to chase after your sisters, following their lead whenever they provide an opportunity. You are sweet, but often demanding of my attention. I can't believe you are already one.

I don't know how long we will live by the coast my dears, but as long as we are hear, I don't ever want you to forget what a blessing it is. Your daddy is working so hard to make life as beautiful and simple as he can, and I'm trying my hardest to keep up my end of the deal by being present and diligent with the three of you. I fail, often, but you girls show me Grace day after day.

All my love, Mama

Dear Daughters: Fall

Lady loves,

It seems like time is running on exponentially quicker by the day.
We're now in November, 2013 is almost over. The next few months will be slightly cooler here, dictated only by a series of cool/cold fronts. Winters are much more mild on the coast.
It seems like God isn't moving slowly with our family. He is moving us swiftly through each transition in our lives. Your daddy got injured at work on his birthday and we were left totally vulnerable. God showed off in a big way getting our bills, groceries and rent paid for when we were completely unable to. How wonderful is it that HE IS ABLE when often, we are not. Don't ever forget that He has been your everything since you were in my belly. He always shows up.
Because of this injury, a new job opened up for daddy at a different company. The hours are long for now, leaving me a bit lonely, and you a bit pent up, but it is temporary. We've had to re-examine our priorities to make this time that is challenging, demanding, and sometimes monotonous, filled with just a little more peace and grace.

Lily,

You are losing the last bit of your baby chub, revealing a young lady that is maturing within you. You are incurably curious, generous, and your budding sense of humor leaves us all rolling. Becoming your school teacher challenges me daily. Watching your eagerness to learn combined with your lack of discipline gives me deeper insight to the Lord's patience with me. You are the best of helpers, when you want to be. You are developing your own taste in what is beautiful and womanly. You bring an innocence and silliness to the groups you play with. I hear you tell your friends about Jesus and my heart explodes with Joy. I am praying for a best friend for you. A loyal, sweet, Jesus claimed girl that will bring you laughter and creative conversations to nurture your growing soul.

Norah,

My sweet girl. Daily I am reminding myself not to define you by your condition or your attitude. Your reactions are intensifying, leaving my mind to constantly worry about what I can "do" for you. You test my faith and show me how often I doubt the ability of Our Father. You give me the courage to pray deeper, more extravagantly than ever before. You are petite, still have the chubbiest fingers and the most adorable pot belly. Your hair is thinning in some places, but it is getting long enough for me to play with when you sit still long enough. You are a spit-fire. You have sass and humor for days. You are enjoying your new role as big sister and getting to know who Lily and Phoebe are in your world. You are learning fast at your sister's side. You are developing a love for food and cooking. I am praying that you know contentment so deeply that you can show me. I am praying for a diagnosis and cure for your ailment.

Phoebe,

I have yet to meet a single human that greets you with anything less than a smile. You spread joy with your chunkalicious rolls and contagious smile. You are my shy girl, you bury your head in my chest with the sweetest smile anytime you meet someone new. You have rounded out our family in such a way that makes us feel a wholeness we didn't know was missing. You exhaust me to no end, but are my breath of fresh air whenever I need it. You are scooting and army crawling around our apartment and are sure to be full on crawling any minute. You have two adorable chompers. You are tiny and I am not wistful for you to grow up in any way.

We have six more months before we have to move out of this apartment. I spend my evenings before I go to bed praying about what that looks like. Moving into another apartment? Finding a home where we can stretch our legs and play in a yard? I know what I want, what I covet, but I am breathing in the Truth that God has something perfect for us. Your daddy and I know this is a time of rebuilding for our family. To bring us to know each other more intimately before He sends us out again. This fall is a time of closeness, and as much as my flesh wants to push you away at times to live selfishly, I will draw your closer to me, to Jesus.

All my love,
Mama

Dear Daughters

Dear Daughters,

This summer was completely unexpected. The Littlest Lady was born into our family with much excitement. Only days after her arrival our family was promised a new life in Rockport. Away from our friends, but back to our family. Your daddy would be able to go back to school, and I would be able to have the help of your Grandma & Aunts. The house we were promised fell through and we were left with our hands in the air, not knowing what to do next. We lived with your Grandma for a month after living with your uncle for a month. Our hearts were hurt and we only had each other to lean on.

But you, my sweet girls, have shown me the faults in my heart.

You have lived this summer as if it was the greatest. Your bellies were full every night, and you played til you couldn't keep your eyes open. We ate burritos and sipped "coffee bubbles" (sparkling water) at sunset on the beach as many times as possible. You played naked in the sprinklers til the sea breeze got too cold on your booties. You got cuddles and kisses that your family has waited years to shower you with.

You have nothing to complain about- and neither do I.

We are starting over, here, in Rockport. Daddy is now a cabinet maker. Lily starts Pre-K at home this year. Norah has a possible diagnosis for her skin condition. Phoebe is a boob addict and is in blissful baby heaven 24/7. And Mama is refocused.

Having three little ladies who will one day be women, and hopefully mommies under foot keeps me on my toes. While we were without a home this summer, my priorities were put in place. It is not important that I maintain the largest portfolio of breastfeeding women. The pride that I had in "normalizing breastfeeding" through my work became unbearable. It isn't even in line with my mission statement. You girls reminded me of what my calling is and it has nothing to do with competing with others.

My job is to lead you to Jesus. To show you the beauty of  His world through my love. My parenting. My friendship. And this love I have for you, it overflows into my passion of photography. These moments in motherhood that are knit together by kisses, laughter, heartache, and joy- they are what fuels my creative being. The moments I have caught of you in secret while you explore, love, and learn are ones that I will forever cherish. I want to provide that for my clients.

This summer you have inspired me to step up my game- at home and behind my lens. I will not aim to book the most shoots. I will not book a shoot just for the sake of a few extra bucks that really just keeps me from you. My portfolio is built. It is solid. And the only time I will spend away from you will be spent capturing what you have inspired in me.

With all my love, Mama <3

What does this mean for my clients? The mini sessions I have in Austin & DFW in September are a go! I will be able to see some of my very favorite mamas who got me where I am today and meet some new moms and babes along the way. But with homeschooling and traveling for Norah's testing there will be very limited monthly availability (only one or two sessions a month in South Texas.) I will continue to mentor online during naptime and after bedtime. I love teaching and this has been one of the most rewarding things I've done all year! I will begin booking births after sweet Phoebe is a year old. This is by no means a  "good-bye" or "see ya later." This is a "let's do this". I am ready to give you the best of me in order to capture what is most important to you.